Death Race 2000 — Better Than Citizen Kane?
No, I am not talking about that mindless piece of tripe starring Jason Statham, I speak of the original “Death Race 2000 .”
“Citizen Kane ” gets all the accolades and”Death Race 2000″ faces a slow fade into history because of its subversive genius. Well no more I say! It is time we compare these two films and see that Roger Corman (and Paul Bartel) deserve the same respect as Orson Welles .
By the way, this has nothing to do with gaming. I just felt the urge to write about one of my favorite films.
My points of comparison are the following:
1. action
2. plot
3. sex appeal
4. humor
5. Carridine content
Action:
CK has lots and lots of talking. The only action is the occasional cheering crowd or angry wife.
DR2000 literally writes a new chapter on automobile carnage! Spikes, bombs and the old-fashioned hit and run are all on display. Blood a-plenty! Even a “Wile E. Coyote” inspired fake tunnel!
Plot:
CK plods its way through the rather dull life of an wealthy man.
DR2000 is a biting satire on modern sports and politics. I am not kidding. It really is a satire. The “hit-and-run” for points is just a cover to get it past the corporate film stooges. Underneath it is a searing attack on the media and how it creates sporting heroes. Also scores points for using the French as villians. Don’t see that too often.
Sex Appeal:
CK offers up women in frocks with more coverage than a burkha . For the ladies, there is Orson Welles.
DR2000 displays Simone Griffeth (worth a Google search, I promise) in a couple of utterly gratuitous nude scenes. For the women: David Carridine in a speedo.
Humor:
CK has the happy tone of a puppy’s funeral.
DR2000 made my spit out my drink in a couple of spots. The French as villians, a V2 buzzbomb car driven by a germanic “Mathilda the Hun,” quotes like this”get the baby it is worth more points” are priceless. Also, Frankenstein (the hero) has a unique weapon that is one of the worst puns ever inflicted on an audience.
Carridine Content:
David Carridine does not appear in “Citizen Kane.” It is a lesser movie for it.
DR2000 oozes with Carridine. In almost every scene he blesses this film with his power. The man is a legend in Hollywood, even going so far as to dare challenge Chuck Norris in hand-to-hand combat! Bow before his greatness.
I think it is pretty clear that “Citizen Kane” is over-hyped art house junk. Only a fool cannot see that “Death Race 2000” is the better of the two movies and it is high time that it receives the recognition it deserves.
Trask, The Last Tyromancer
